Is 'flatcest' okay? The dos and don'ts of dating a housemate

Living with housemates means that, at some point, you might develop feelings for someone you’re living with… 

Although plenty of people will tell you that ‘flatcest’ is an absolute no, sometimes it just can’t be helped. When you’re living together, close friendships can quickly slide into something more, and before you know it, you’re confessing your feelings in the communal living room.   

If you’ve fallen for a housemate or flatmate, here are some popular dos and don’ts so things don’t get awkward. 

Do talk about it 

If you’ve developed romantic feelings for your housemate, or something’s happened between the two of you on a recent night out, it’s best to clear the air as soon as possible. Although it might be tempting to tiptoe around the house, trying to avoid them for as long as possible will make it way more awkward when you finally run into each other! 

Instead, try to act like adults and talk about what’s happened. Be honest about your feelings and decide what will happen going forward. Is it best that you stay friends and ignore the feelings? Are you going to try dating? Or do you just want to wait it out and see what happens? 

Do set boundaries 

Whether you decide to try a relationship or just keep things casual, it’s essential to set some boundaries. This will make sure you're both on the same page. 

Think about how much time you want to spend with each other. Will you stay over in each other’s rooms? When will you tell your friends and other housemates about what’s going on? Having an honest chat as soon as possible will avoid complicating feelings later on.  

Do have a plan if things go wrong 

Before you get too wrapped up in a potential relationship, make sure you have an exit strategy. Be honest with yourself about what will happen if it all falls apart. Will you be able to keep living with this person, or will it be too hard? 

Most student housing contracts can be tricky to get out of - your landlord will likely require that you find a replacement housemate, and you’ll still have to find alternative housing for the rest of the academic year. It’s essential that you think about your living situation if things go wrong before you get carried away with your housemate romance.  

Do get out of the house 

Dating someone you live with means that you might end up spending a lot of time together at home. Although spending the night watching Netflix is easier (and cheaper), going out on actual dates will help you feel like a ‘real’ couple.  

Getting out of the house, whether it’s for dinner, the cinema or just a walk in the park, will also help you get some privacy from the rest of your housemates. Plus, they’ll probably thank you - especially if you’ve been monopolising the living room sofa for your Netflix dates! 

Do respect your other housemates 

Although it’s easy to get wrapped up in your new relationship, don’t forget about the rest of your housemates. Make sure they’re comfortable with the situation and be as honest as possible with them about what’s happening. The last thing you want is to make them feel uncomfortable in their own home.  

If you’re close friends with your other housemates, you’ll probably end up spending less time with them than you used to. Try setting aside nights where you hang out with just them, or make an effort to do things with them outside the house. Otherwise, you might find that you quickly start to drift apart! 

Don’t rush into anything 

Make sure you’re aware of your own reasons for your romantic feelings - maybe you’ve just broken up with a long-term partner and are feeling lonely, or do you struggle with anxiety, and your housemate is one of the only people you feel comfortable around? Consider whether getting into a relationship is really the best decision before you rush into anything.  

Don't spend every waking moment together  

Getting into a relationship with your housemate means you’ll be spending a lot of time together. However, it’s essential that you make time for yourself and your friends too. Just because you live together, doesn’t mean you should spend every second hanging out in each other’s rooms - and try to sleep apart, at least some of the time.  

In a ‘normal’ relationship, you typically wouldn’t even think about moving in together until you’ve been together for several months or even years. Relationships with housemates often move super-fast because you essentially go from friends, to living together overnight. Remember that you don’t need to spend every minute together. Planning time apart is a great way to slow things down and means the relationship is more likely to last! 

Make shared living simpler with all-inclusive student properties 

Getting involved with a housemate can make shared living difficult to navigate, especially when you also have to deal with splitting household bills and making sure everyone pays on time. To keep things simple, why not opt for all-inclusive student accommodation for the next academic year? 

UniHomes has an extensive landlord and letting agent network with all-inclusive student properties in cities across the UK. We can’t guarantee you won’t have to worry about catching feelings for one of your housemates, but at least all your utility bills are sorted! Plus, all of the student houses on our site include uncapped water and energy to give you peace of mind about the monthly price you’ll pay.  

Contact us today to learn more about the all-inclusive student houses available, or look at the properties for rent in your student city.